I don't how will I start again with my life as your ordinary friend. We used to treat ourselves as special friends and we used to have mutual feelings for each other but right now I don't know what happen..
It's been 4yrs already when I first meet you, i'm not expecting that I will feel this kind of feelings for you. A lot of people are asking what makes you special to me and they are not expecting that the two of us will be that close to each other because of our opposites attitude.
My feelings for you is stronger than before and I don't know why. I used to be your girlfriend for 4months and I don't know if you consider me as your official girlfriend but anyway I enjoy those months being with you. I'm so happy that even we broke up we end up as friends or let's say special friends as what you say that I thought will last forever but then its not.
I try to be strong and overcome the pains and struggles that strikes our relationship but for the 4yrs that i'm with you its really hard to move on and forget the bad moments. We have a lot of happy moments than the bad moments. I thought those things will not be change but i'm wrong, all of it is just a temporary things that can be change anytime.
I already think the best things that I know can help our relationship last but i think those things are not enough for you to stay the same. I'm so stupid in believing all the things that you have said. Before I don't care if you didn't keep your promises but i'm already tired hoping for those promises that inside I know that its impossible to be kept maybe because I really want our situation last and I thought someday our situation will be stronger unlike before but i'm sill wrong.
I really can't move on coz I still have a lot of questions in my mind. I'm not expecting that you can totally hurt me this way. It's much better if you just inform me that you already have a new girlfriend than just going here and let my eyes see the things that you know will totally hurt me. I know that its not right to acted like I have right to be mad and jealous 'coz i'm just your friend. You might just confront me that we need to stop this mutual feelings 'coz you already love someone else and not letting me cry that hard. The that I saw when your with her really strikes my heart and I can't stop thinking about it until now.
I want to just have one full day with you to just clarify the questions that I have in mind to be able for me to totally move on. I can't be mad to you and you know that. Your one of the person that I don't want to lose and I thought you don't want me to lose too but i'm wrong again. I hope you taught me how to be insensitive and strong enough to overcome this kind of feelings.
I don't have a choice but to accept the fact that all the things that we have done together disappear like a bubble that in just a glimpse of an eye all the good memories fails and vanished. Just be happy with her and just keep in mind that don't come back to me if you get hurt again. I'm already tired of understanding your situation and comforting you and you don't care about my feelings and how I really care for you. I'm pretty sure that its really impossible for you to realize and appreciate all my sacrifices that I just made for you and that's fine with me. This is already over and I want to end it already. Thanks for everything and I'm sorry but I really need to be gone for a long time.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Sunday, August 7, 2011
is it go0dbye already???
I'm still confuse about who am I in your life. I'm on the stage of moving on and trying to keep my feelings for you as your friend but every time I see you the feelings get complicated. I'm trying to accept all the things that is happening. I just need a clear answer from you,,I don't want to ask you because i'm afraid of the answer that I will get from you. I try to forget all the bad things that happens before and cherish the good things in life.
I'm trying to be your ordinary friend even if its hard. I'm happy because even if were just friends you still have time to have bonding with me I hope that thing will not be change. I'm happy for the both of you,,I hope you will stay forever and have a happy life. Don't worry i'll stay as your friend,,don't worry about me i'll be fine,,your the one that says that time will tell what will happen in the future.
Thanks for everything. I'm happy I have you as my big bro in my life. Thanks for taking care of me. Thanks for the friendship that you gave me I hope this friendship will stay as it is and will not change.
You teach me how to be strong and how to fight. You make a lot of changes in me. You still have YHANIE and there's just a little change that will happen to me but its for good and not for bad. I don't know if this will be a go0dbye already but I hope its not...If you need a friend to talk to i'm always here. Thanks for everything and please always take care..
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
it's all about "yhanie"....
A girl who really don't know how to be strong when it comes to problems. A simple girl who only wants to be loved the way that she will feel that she is totally loved but time comes that she became broken. She can't handle a problem all by herself, she always need someone who can give her advice to solve a problem. People think that she's smart but they are wrong, maybe she's smart when it comes to school but in other things she become weak. She don't want to be alone because all the sad things that she experience are coming back in her mind that's why she always spend her leisure time with her friends even if she go home late just to ease the sadness that she felt.
When her friends have problems she always the one who give advice to them or comfort them but the question is why she can't do the things that she's saying to her friends in her personal life. Maybe it's easy for her to comfort somebody but when she is the one who has a problem she can't think properly. PROBLEM------a word that become a connector between her and a close friend. I'll just not mention the name of her close friend who always stays with her when she need someone to lean on. He's one of the reasons why Yhanie has change. He taught her how to be strong and earn more self confident but he is also the reason why she feel sad. Unexpectedly, she fell inlove with this guy but sad to say her love for him is forbidden because he is already committed to someone. Her only choice is to stay as his friend because it's all they ever be. She decided to ask him to treat her as an ordinary friend so that the pain that she felt for almost three years will be lessen even if it really hurts for her to do that.
And now, it's going to be 1 month that they don't see each other and they don't have any serious communication. She decided to change something about her but she's thinking when should she start that plan. She wants to change the old Yhanie to a new Yhanie. Someday she will get the change that she wants to have.
When her friends have problems she always the one who give advice to them or comfort them but the question is why she can't do the things that she's saying to her friends in her personal life. Maybe it's easy for her to comfort somebody but when she is the one who has a problem she can't think properly. PROBLEM------a word that become a connector between her and a close friend. I'll just not mention the name of her close friend who always stays with her when she need someone to lean on. He's one of the reasons why Yhanie has change. He taught her how to be strong and earn more self confident but he is also the reason why she feel sad. Unexpectedly, she fell inlove with this guy but sad to say her love for him is forbidden because he is already committed to someone. Her only choice is to stay as his friend because it's all they ever be. She decided to ask him to treat her as an ordinary friend so that the pain that she felt for almost three years will be lessen even if it really hurts for her to do that.
And now, it's going to be 1 month that they don't see each other and they don't have any serious communication. She decided to change something about her but she's thinking when should she start that plan. She wants to change the old Yhanie to a new Yhanie. Someday she will get the change that she wants to have.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
,,missing you,,
Every single day i'm asking myself "what should I do? How am I start a new day without him?", answering those question is really hard..I think I regret all the decisions that I made for the two of us..I just want you to be honest on the things that i'm always asking you..I just want a true answer..I just want to know the truth so that I know where I should be in your life..I choose to be your friend because I know that's the only thing that we can be and not more than that..Some people keep telling me that maybe someday we can be together if we are meant for each other..
It's almost a week that we don't have any communications even seeing each other..I miss the way you smile when we're together..I miss the way you tell those silly jokes..I miss the way you care about me..I really miss the things about you..I really miss the real you..
The changes in me is all because of you..You taught me to be strong unlike when you first met me,,you always telling me that I need to be strong because being a looser is not good,, I must learn how to fight most importantly if I know that i'm on the right place..You make me feel so special,,
I always asking myself "why I can get over you? why I can't treat you as an ordinary friend? why I can't get rid of you?", I have a lot of questions on my mind that I can answer all by myself,,maybe I really need an answer from you but when I ask some of the questions you'll just say "You're special to me, that's it.",,how I wish you will tell me that you love me like what you're saying before but if it's hard for you to say those words its okay,,i'm just your friend, a friend whose willing to do anything just to make you happy,,
I want to be with you but your with her..You promise me that you're always be there for me and you're lucky that you have me,,You know what when you told me that when you heard the song LUCKY by jason mraz i'm the first one who pop-up in your mind, i'm so happy after hearing that from you..I hope your going to stay the same..
Are you still willing to continue this?no communications through cellphone even in facebook...maybe you it will not be a big lost to you if i'm not going to be on your side forever..
I REALLY MISS YOU...
It's almost a week that we don't have any communications even seeing each other..I miss the way you smile when we're together..I miss the way you tell those silly jokes..I miss the way you care about me..I really miss the things about you..I really miss the real you..
The changes in me is all because of you..You taught me to be strong unlike when you first met me,,you always telling me that I need to be strong because being a looser is not good,, I must learn how to fight most importantly if I know that i'm on the right place..You make me feel so special,,
I always asking myself "why I can get over you? why I can't treat you as an ordinary friend? why I can't get rid of you?", I have a lot of questions on my mind that I can answer all by myself,,maybe I really need an answer from you but when I ask some of the questions you'll just say "You're special to me, that's it.",,how I wish you will tell me that you love me like what you're saying before but if it's hard for you to say those words its okay,,i'm just your friend, a friend whose willing to do anything just to make you happy,,
I want to be with you but your with her..You promise me that you're always be there for me and you're lucky that you have me,,You know what when you told me that when you heard the song LUCKY by jason mraz i'm the first one who pop-up in your mind, i'm so happy after hearing that from you..I hope your going to stay the same..
Are you still willing to continue this?no communications through cellphone even in facebook...maybe you it will not be a big lost to you if i'm not going to be on your side forever..
I REALLY MISS YOU...
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
it's all up to you...
There are times that we can't understand each other. I don't know why there are things that we can't agree with. I feel sad when we misunderstood each other. I can't sleep at night because of thinking about the misunderstanding that happens between us. I'm happy that we can easily fix it, we just need more time to be alone.
You're the one who makes me strong. All the advice that you're giving me is always on my mind. I hope your not going to change. I like you for who you are, I don't need a new you to make me happy, the real you is enough for me. How i wish we can spend more time together.
I'm always there for you but sometimes I feel like I'm not important to you. You always tell me that i'm one of the valued persons in your life. Before, you tell me that you love me, I believe it because you show me that you love me but the time comes that you really hurt my feelings. You know that I don't want a liar person. I don't know why you choose to keep it as a secret than telling me the truth.
I can't dictate you on what you should do, it's all up to you. You can do what you want, one things for sure I'm always here for you even if I'm not the one you really need. I was able to survive from the pain and I think that's the one reason why I learn to be strong. I know we can't be together but I hope you will stay as my friend even if we didn't see each other for a long time. I promise to you that I'll never forget you. You're one of the best persons in my life, how I wish i'm one of the best person that you've met.
You run away
Why do you always see the danger
You're so afraid
I'm not the one you should fear
Cause I'll always be here
Show me how much you care
We can make it anywhere
How will I know what's on your mind this time
How will I know your love can be forever
Am I the only one that you want
Half a heart will just not do
Now it's all up to you
Baby when I feel we're getting closer
You turn around
Saying all the things we're not supposed to
You let me down
I'm not the one you should fear
Cause I'll always be here
Show me how much you care
We can make it anywhere
[Chorus]
I wanna know what's going on
I have been waiting for so long
Tell me the reason why
You make me cry
When all I want is you
Do you remember days of joy
Can we bring back what we destroyed
Tell me the reason why
You make me cry
Why do you always see the danger
You're so afraid
I'm not the one you should fear
Cause I'll always be here
Show me how much you care
We can make it anywhere
How will I know what's on your mind this time
How will I know your love can be forever
Am I the only one that you want
Half a heart will just not do
Now it's all up to you
Baby when I feel we're getting closer
You turn around
Saying all the things we're not supposed to
You let me down
I'm not the one you should fear
Cause I'll always be here
Show me how much you care
We can make it anywhere
[Chorus]
I wanna know what's going on
I have been waiting for so long
Tell me the reason why
You make me cry
When all I want is you
Do you remember days of joy
Can we bring back what we destroyed
Tell me the reason why
You make me cry
I'll never leave you,,If you need me I always be there...:)
Saturday, December 4, 2010
boyfriend vs. friends
,,why there are persons who act as if they really owned the persons they love,,sometimes their going to ask you questions like "who's important to you me or your friends!?".....those persons who always ask that kind of question has a low understanding...it's so funny to think that there are persons who allow their partner to act like that...
,,for me friends is very important...can you live without friends???,,it's hard to enjoy life without friends..what if you have problems that you don't want to tell your family or to your boyfriend then you don't have friends to lean on so what are you going to do???hurt yourself by doing everything that can hurt you and cry all alone...duh!!!
,,friends always stay at your side and support you in all aspects of your life..there are times that you don't have to pay all your attention on your partner,,you must know that there are still friends that are waiting for your attention but sometimes you must observe all the things that surrounds you,,if you think there's a problem between you and your friends try to think first of a possible reason why are they acting like that and don't wait them to confront you if your not ready to listen on their reason...being hurt by your friends is normal but they are doing that kind of confrontation for your sake...
,,don't be so obsess to your partner it's not good,,it can damage or change your whole life..make sure that you still have love to yourself and to your friends...FRIENDS always there not to hurt you but to help you to correct your mistakes and help you if you needed them...BOYFRIEND is a person that will love you but your not sure if he will stay for you forever unlike FRIENDS whatever happens they always stay beside you...
,,learn to manage your time and attention to your friends and boyfriend....:)
,,for me friends is very important...can you live without friends???,,it's hard to enjoy life without friends..what if you have problems that you don't want to tell your family or to your boyfriend then you don't have friends to lean on so what are you going to do???hurt yourself by doing everything that can hurt you and cry all alone...duh!!!
,,friends always stay at your side and support you in all aspects of your life..there are times that you don't have to pay all your attention on your partner,,you must know that there are still friends that are waiting for your attention but sometimes you must observe all the things that surrounds you,,if you think there's a problem between you and your friends try to think first of a possible reason why are they acting like that and don't wait them to confront you if your not ready to listen on their reason...being hurt by your friends is normal but they are doing that kind of confrontation for your sake...
,,don't be so obsess to your partner it's not good,,it can damage or change your whole life..make sure that you still have love to yourself and to your friends...FRIENDS always there not to hurt you but to help you to correct your mistakes and help you if you needed them...BOYFRIEND is a person that will love you but your not sure if he will stay for you forever unlike FRIENDS whatever happens they always stay beside you...
,,learn to manage your time and attention to your friends and boyfriend....:)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
why are we still friends!?
I have many question on my mind...I don't know why I still love him even if I know that we can't be together,,(why can't it be???)...
Sometimes I'm asking myself why are we still friends and why I'm still inlove with him,,He's still the one that my heart want...It's hard to be his friend because he already know what I feel for him..I don't know if yhis sincere with his feelings for me,I don't know if I'm going to believe him,,He want me to be happy when the two of us are together but how am I supposed to be happy when I'm with him when almost half of his mind is thinking on other person,,we are together but sometimes I feel that I'm just a decoration (something like that)..How i wish time will come that he will realize what I feel when his doing all that things when I'm with him..
We do almost everything that lovers do
And that’s why it’s hard, just to be friends with you
Every time your heart is broken by the fool
I want you to know that it hurts me too
It’s hard to wipe your tears away (tears away)
Knowing that you should be with me
Now tell me why
[CHORUS:]
Why – why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than we are
And tell me why every time I find
Someone that I like
We always end up just being friends (Just Being Friends)
I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you
But am I a fool girl not to say
If I’m always scared I’ll lose you anyway
Somehow somewhere I’ve got to choose (got to choose)
No matter if it’s win or lose
Now tell me why
[CHORUS]
I don’t wanna be like your brother
I don’t wanna be your best friend
I only wanna be your lover
When will this end
If I told you that I wanna be in your life
Then you could be the woman in mine
..I'm happy coz he's always there for me and he consider me as his bestfriend,,maybe that's all that we can be,,stay as BFF..hahaha..what a funny thing!!...If his happy with her then I'll be happy for him but if not it's his choice if he's going to stay with her,,just one thing for sure I'm always here for him even if as friend..
Sometimes I'm asking myself why are we still friends and why I'm still inlove with him,,He's still the one that my heart want...It's hard to be his friend because he already know what I feel for him..I don't know if yhis sincere with his feelings for me,I don't know if I'm going to believe him,,He want me to be happy when the two of us are together but how am I supposed to be happy when I'm with him when almost half of his mind is thinking on other person,,we are together but sometimes I feel that I'm just a decoration (something like that)..How i wish time will come that he will realize what I feel when his doing all that things when I'm with him..
Why Are We Still Friends
We do almost everything that lovers do
And that’s why it’s hard, just to be friends with you
Every time your heart is broken by the fool
I want you to know that it hurts me too
It’s hard to wipe your tears away (tears away)
Knowing that you should be with me
Now tell me why
[CHORUS:]
Why – why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than we are
And tell me why every time I find
Someone that I like
We always end up just being friends (Just Being Friends)
I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you
But am I a fool girl not to say
If I’m always scared I’ll lose you anyway
Somehow somewhere I’ve got to choose (got to choose)
No matter if it’s win or lose
Now tell me why
[CHORUS]
I don’t wanna be like your brother
I don’t wanna be your best friend
I only wanna be your lover
When will this end
If I told you that I wanna be in your life
Then you could be the woman in mine
..I'm happy coz he's always there for me and he consider me as his bestfriend,,maybe that's all that we can be,,stay as BFF..hahaha..what a funny thing!!...If his happy with her then I'll be happy for him but if not it's his choice if he's going to stay with her,,just one thing for sure I'm always here for him even if as friend..
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