is it go0dbye already???

     I'm still confuse about who am I in your life. I'm on the stage of moving on and trying to keep my feelings for you as your friend but every time I see you the feelings get complicated. I'm trying to accept all the things that is happening. I just need a clear answer from you,,I don't want to ask you because i'm afraid of the answer that I will get from you. I try to forget all the bad things that happens before and cherish the good things in life.

     I'm trying to be your ordinary friend even if its hard. I'm happy because even if were just friends you still have time to have bonding with me I hope that thing will not be change. I'm happy for the both of you,,I hope you will stay forever and have a happy life. Don't worry i'll stay as your friend,,don't worry about me i'll be fine,,your the one that says that time will tell what will happen in the future.

     Thanks for everything. I'm happy I have you as my big bro in my life. Thanks for taking care of me. Thanks for the friendship that you gave me I hope this friendship will stay as it is and will not change.

     You teach me how to be strong and how to fight. You make a lot of changes in me. You still have YHANIE and there's just a little change that will happen to me but its for good and not for bad. I don't know if this will be a go0dbye already but I hope its not...If you need a friend to talk to i'm always here. Thanks for everything and please always take care..

it's all about "yhanie"....

A girl who really don't know how to be strong when it comes to problems. A simple girl who only wants to be loved the way that she will feel that she is totally loved but time comes that she became broken. She can't handle a problem all by herself, she always need someone who can give her advice to solve a problem. People think that she's smart but they are wrong, maybe she's smart when it comes to school but in other things she become weak. She don't want to be alone because all the sad things that she experience are coming back in her mind that's why she always spend her leisure time with her friends even if she go home late just to ease the sadness that she felt.

When her friends have problems she always the one who give advice to them or comfort them but the question is why she can't do the things that she's saying to her friends in her personal life. Maybe it's easy for her to comfort somebody but when she is the one who has a problem she can't think properly. PROBLEM------a word that become a connector between her and a close friend. I'll just not mention the name of  her close friend who always stays with her when she need someone to lean on. He's one of the reasons why Yhanie has change. He taught her how to be strong and earn more self confident but he is also the reason why she feel sad. Unexpectedly, she fell inlove with this guy but sad to say her love for him is forbidden because he is already committed to someone. Her only choice is to stay as his friend because it's all they ever be. She decided to ask him to treat her as an ordinary friend so that the pain that she felt for almost three years will be lessen even if it really hurts for her to do that.

And now, it's going to be 1 month that they don't see each other and they don't have any serious communication. She decided to change something about her but she's thinking when should she start that plan. She wants to change the old Yhanie to a new Yhanie. Someday she will get the change that she wants to have.

,,missing you,,

 Every single day i'm asking myself "what should I do? How am I start a new day without him?", answering those question is really hard..I think I regret all the decisions that I made for the two of us..I just want you to be honest on the things that i'm always asking you..I just want a true answer..I just want to know the truth so that I know where I should be in your life..I choose to be your friend because I know that's the only thing that we can be and not more than that..Some people keep telling me that maybe someday we can be together if we are meant for each other..

It's almost a week that we don't have any communications even seeing each other..I miss the way you smile when we're together..I miss the way you tell those silly jokes..I miss the way you care about me..I really miss the things about you..I really miss the real you..

The changes in me is all because of you..You taught me to be strong unlike when you first met me,,you always telling me that I need to be strong because being a looser is not good,, I must learn how to fight most importantly if I know that i'm on the right place..You make me feel so special,,

I always asking myself "why I can get over you? why I can't treat you as an ordinary friend? why I can't get rid of you?", I have a lot of questions on my mind that I can answer all by myself,,maybe I really need an answer from you but when I ask some of the questions you'll just say "You're special to me, that's it.",,how I wish you will tell me that you love me like what you're saying before but if it's hard for you to say those words its okay,,i'm just your friend, a friend whose willing to do anything just to make you happy,,

I want to be with you but your with her..You promise me that you're always be there for me and you're lucky that you have me,,You know what when you told me that when you heard the song LUCKY by jason mraz i'm the first one who pop-up in your mind, i'm so happy after hearing that from you..I hope your going to stay the same.. 


Are you still willing to continue this?no communications through cellphone even in facebook...maybe you it will not be a big lost to you if i'm not going to be on your side forever..

I REALLY MISS YOU...

it's all up to you...

  There are times that we can't understand each other. I don't know why there are things that we can't agree with. I feel sad when we misunderstood each other. I can't sleep at night because of thinking about the misunderstanding that happens between us. I'm happy that we can easily fix it, we just need more time to be alone.

  You're the one who makes me strong. All the advice that you're giving me is always on my mind. I hope your not going to change. I like you for who you are, I don't need a new you to make me happy, the real you is enough for me. How i wish we can spend more time together.

   I'm always there for you but sometimes I feel like I'm not important to you. You always tell me that i'm one of the valued persons in your life. Before, you tell me that you love me, I believe it because you show me that you love me but the time comes that you really hurt my feelings. You know that I don't want a liar person. I don't know why you choose to keep it as a secret than telling me the truth.

  I can't dictate you on what you should do, it's all up to you. You can do what you want, one things for sure I'm always here for you even if I'm not the one you really need. I was able to survive from the pain and I think that's the one reason why I learn to be strong. I know we can't be together but I hope you will stay as my friend even if we didn't see each other for a long time. I promise to you that I'll never forget you. You're one of the best persons in my life, how I wish i'm one of the best person that you've met.

It's All Up To You lyrics

Everytime we talk about the future

You run away
Why do you always see the danger
You're so afraid

I'm not the one you should fear
Cause I'll always be here
Show me how much you care
We can make it anywhere

How will I know what's on your mind this time
How will I know your love can be forever
Am I the only one that you want
Half a heart will just not do
Now it's all up to you

Baby when I feel we're getting closer
You turn around
Saying all the things we're not supposed to
You let me down

I'm not the one you should fear
Cause I'll always be here
Show me how much you care
We can make it anywhere

[Chorus]

I wanna know what's going on
I have been waiting for so long
Tell me the reason why
You make me cry
When all I want is you
Do you remember days of joy
Can we bring back what we destroyed
Tell me the reason why
You make me cry

  I'll never leave you,,If you need me I always be there...:)