it's all about "yhanie"....

A girl who really don't know how to be strong when it comes to problems. A simple girl who only wants to be loved the way that she will feel that she is totally loved but time comes that she became broken. She can't handle a problem all by herself, she always need someone who can give her advice to solve a problem. People think that she's smart but they are wrong, maybe she's smart when it comes to school but in other things she become weak. She don't want to be alone because all the sad things that she experience are coming back in her mind that's why she always spend her leisure time with her friends even if she go home late just to ease the sadness that she felt.

When her friends have problems she always the one who give advice to them or comfort them but the question is why she can't do the things that she's saying to her friends in her personal life. Maybe it's easy for her to comfort somebody but when she is the one who has a problem she can't think properly. PROBLEM------a word that become a connector between her and a close friend. I'll just not mention the name of  her close friend who always stays with her when she need someone to lean on. He's one of the reasons why Yhanie has change. He taught her how to be strong and earn more self confident but he is also the reason why she feel sad. Unexpectedly, she fell inlove with this guy but sad to say her love for him is forbidden because he is already committed to someone. Her only choice is to stay as his friend because it's all they ever be. She decided to ask him to treat her as an ordinary friend so that the pain that she felt for almost three years will be lessen even if it really hurts for her to do that.

And now, it's going to be 1 month that they don't see each other and they don't have any serious communication. She decided to change something about her but she's thinking when should she start that plan. She wants to change the old Yhanie to a new Yhanie. Someday she will get the change that she wants to have.

,,missing you,,

 Every single day i'm asking myself "what should I do? How am I start a new day without him?", answering those question is really hard..I think I regret all the decisions that I made for the two of us..I just want you to be honest on the things that i'm always asking you..I just want a true answer..I just want to know the truth so that I know where I should be in your life..I choose to be your friend because I know that's the only thing that we can be and not more than that..Some people keep telling me that maybe someday we can be together if we are meant for each other..

It's almost a week that we don't have any communications even seeing each other..I miss the way you smile when we're together..I miss the way you tell those silly jokes..I miss the way you care about me..I really miss the things about you..I really miss the real you..

The changes in me is all because of you..You taught me to be strong unlike when you first met me,,you always telling me that I need to be strong because being a looser is not good,, I must learn how to fight most importantly if I know that i'm on the right place..You make me feel so special,,

I always asking myself "why I can get over you? why I can't treat you as an ordinary friend? why I can't get rid of you?", I have a lot of questions on my mind that I can answer all by myself,,maybe I really need an answer from you but when I ask some of the questions you'll just say "You're special to me, that's it.",,how I wish you will tell me that you love me like what you're saying before but if it's hard for you to say those words its okay,,i'm just your friend, a friend whose willing to do anything just to make you happy,,

I want to be with you but your with her..You promise me that you're always be there for me and you're lucky that you have me,,You know what when you told me that when you heard the song LUCKY by jason mraz i'm the first one who pop-up in your mind, i'm so happy after hearing that from you..I hope your going to stay the same.. 


Are you still willing to continue this?no communications through cellphone even in facebook...maybe you it will not be a big lost to you if i'm not going to be on your side forever..

I REALLY MISS YOU...