I don't how will I start again with my life as your ordinary friend. We used to treat ourselves as special friends and we used to have mutual feelings for each other but right now I don't know what happen..
It's been 4yrs already when I first meet you, i'm not expecting that I will feel this kind of feelings for you. A lot of people are asking what makes you special to me and they are not expecting that the two of us will be that close to each other because of our opposites attitude.
My feelings for you is stronger than before and I don't know why. I used to be your girlfriend for 4months and I don't know if you consider me as your official girlfriend but anyway I enjoy those months being with you. I'm so happy that even we broke up we end up as friends or let's say special friends as what you say that I thought will last forever but then its not.
I try to be strong and overcome the pains and struggles that strikes our relationship but for the 4yrs that i'm with you its really hard to move on and forget the bad moments. We have a lot of happy moments than the bad moments. I thought those things will not be change but i'm wrong, all of it is just a temporary things that can be change anytime.
I already think the best things that I know can help our relationship last but i think those things are not enough for you to stay the same. I'm so stupid in believing all the things that you have said. Before I don't care if you didn't keep your promises but i'm already tired hoping for those promises that inside I know that its impossible to be kept maybe because I really want our situation last and I thought someday our situation will be stronger unlike before but i'm sill wrong.
I really can't move on coz I still have a lot of questions in my mind. I'm not expecting that you can totally hurt me this way. It's much better if you just inform me that you already have a new girlfriend than just going here and let my eyes see the things that you know will totally hurt me. I know that its not right to acted like I have right to be mad and jealous 'coz i'm just your friend. You might just confront me that we need to stop this mutual feelings 'coz you already love someone else and not letting me cry that hard. The that I saw when your with her really strikes my heart and I can't stop thinking about it until now.
I want to just have one full day with you to just clarify the questions that I have in mind to be able for me to totally move on. I can't be mad to you and you know that. Your one of the person that I don't want to lose and I thought you don't want me to lose too but i'm wrong again. I hope you taught me how to be insensitive and strong enough to overcome this kind of feelings.
I don't have a choice but to accept the fact that all the things that we have done together disappear like a bubble that in just a glimpse of an eye all the good memories fails and vanished. Just be happy with her and just keep in mind that don't come back to me if you get hurt again. I'm already tired of understanding your situation and comforting you and you don't care about my feelings and how I really care for you. I'm pretty sure that its really impossible for you to realize and appreciate all my sacrifices that I just made for you and that's fine with me. This is already over and I want to end it already. Thanks for everything and I'm sorry but I really need to be gone for a long time.
